The Sky is Not Falling! Talking to your kids about COVID-19

By Sky Izaddoost, MD, The Children’s Hospital of San Antonio Primary Care – Stone Oak

It’s been about a month, y’all! The kids have been home for a month. Seriously. I said a month.  While our lives have changed, so have the lives of our kids. My 5-year-old thought she didn’t get dessert last night because of “the COVID” (really it was because she didn’t eat enough of her veggies). Yes, COVID-19 has made an impact on our kids regardless of age. The kids miss their friends. Mine haven’t left our neighborhood in weeks. But worst of all, they hear us talk. They hear us say that people are sick. They hear us say people are dying. They hear our anxieties of how to pay the bills when paychecks are getting cut. They know more than you think, but they react differently than we do.

Some kids can tell you how they feel when given the opportunity to talk. Some kids have nightmares. Some kids shut down all together and refuse to talk. It’s up to us as parents to start this conversation and help our kiddos with stress during this pandemic.

So let’s get started. First, find out what they know about COVID-19. If you ever played telephone as a kid, you know that facts get twisted when they are passed from person to person. Talk to your kids about what they know and help reduce their stress by dispelling some rumors that may not be true. A child with anxiety about getting sick will benefit from reminders that they are staying home to avoid getting sick and to stop the virus. Really, y’all are superheroes at home. You are welcome to wear a cape.

Second, a routine y’all! Your kids are used to doing the same thing every day at school or daycare. Set up something similar at home. While it may seem odd to have to wake up, get dressed and not go anywhere, it returns them to a sense of normal.

Wake up by 8 a.m. Get dressed, brush teeth, fix hair, wash face, and eat breakfast. Just like a normal day. Then get schoolwork done. Make sure you set an afternoon goal or surprise to make getting schoolwork done easier. You could make a fairy lantern, create a scavenger hunt for parents, volcano science experiment, tickle war, or bake something. Also, set aside time for exercise – at least 30 minutes a day or work in an hour if you can. Have your kids help make lunch and eat lunch together as a family. 

Add some self-care elements to your routine. Beyond just exercise, pull out that old yoga mat and try some moves with the kids. My kids love to relax in a bath with a fancy bath bomb. Extra points because they made the bath bomb themselves. (Amazon for the win!) Think about ways you relieve stress for the kids during the regular school year and modify them to current conditions. Eating out relieves stress. So, have a picnic.  The weather has been awesome lately. Just make sure to put on the sunscreen and insect repellent based on age.

Practice social distancing. Honestly, I prefer the term “physical distancing.” Let your kids talk to their friends via Skype, Zoom, or FaceTime to keep them involved in each other’s lives. Give bonus time to talk about schoolwork! Kids can play games on Skype like Scattergories, Heads Up, charades, and have dance parties. Another thing you can do is set up a scavenger hunt where each parent provides a list of items and kids have to run around their respective houses with their devices finding two matching socks, or something shiny, or a superhero in a book.

Finally, this is stressful for adults – just as much as it is for our children. Every day there is something new for us to worry about. Take time to have conversations with your kids about everything that is going on. Reassure them of all the things you are doing to keep them safe. And remember to stay positive. San Antonio is an amazing city and our citizens and heroes are rising to the occasion.

So thank you to all of our health care workers, grocery store workers, delivery truck drivers, and all essential personnel for keeping us together and keeping us safe.  And thank you to the stressed-out parents at home who are keeping the kids and our community safe by staying at home with grace. Wear your cape proudly San Antonio. And send us some pics!

Dr. Sky practices at The Children’s Hospital of San Antonio Primary Care – Stone Oak. We are accepting new patients and taking extra precautions at all of our clinics to keep children and their parents safe and healthy. We carefully screen all patients by phone and during each visit, separating our days into morning well visits and afternoon sick visits, minimizing waiting room time and practicing safe social distancing and masking. We also have the ability to do video visits, allowing families to talk with a doctor without leaving home whenever possible. To learn more about our services and locations, find us at https://www.christushealth.org/childrens/services-treatments/primary-care.

How to Approach Your Child’s Behavior Issues When You Can’t Leave the House

By Courtney Smith, MD, FAAP, The Children’s Hospital of San Antonio Primary Care – Dominion Crossing

If you are noticing more tantrums from your toddlers, more attitude from your teens, or rising frustration within your family as a whole, you are not alone. Because of stay-home guidelines, many parents and children have been forced into a “new normal,” now doing school and work from home or shifting into new roles within the family. Add a grumpy, defiant, or exhausted child to the mix and it’s easy to feel like you are drowning.

First, let’s start with some behavior basics. While at times it may seem like your child is pushing your buttons just to test you, most children are not being intentionally disobedient. We know that behavior in kids is an outward manifestation of what is going on within that child. Think of behavior as the tip of the iceberg, or the part you can see above the water. However, the bulk of the iceberg lies below the water and keeps the ice afloat. That part is made up of things like anxiety, fear, sleep deprivation, and other factors that ultimately shape the behavior. Many of those underlying factors are hard for children to identify or talk about, but looking at the cause of behavior change is key to redirecting and reshaping that behavior.

So how do we address the causes of unwanted behavior? Anxiety and fear are important drivers of behavior. Toddlers and younger children are often very dependent on a predictable schedule. There aren’t many things under their control, so knowing “what comes next” is important. Creating a predictable routine can often help decrease anxiety about the unknown and reduce tantrums. For older children and teens, routine is also important, but watching the COVID-19 pandemic unfold is enough to create high levels of anxiety. Talk to your kids. Ask them what they think about the events going on and what they understand about them. You may be able to correct misinformation and reassure them at the same time. Let kids know it’s OK to be frustrated or worried and show them outlets to express those emotions rather than ignoring those feelings.

Healthy meals and exercise are important for growing brains. It’s hard for kids (and adults) to keep their cool when they are hungry or just need to move!  While eating out or going to the playground may not be an option right now, there are a lot of activities you can do as a family to work those muscles and prevent hunger from driving that difficult behavior. Sleep is also important, and just because kids may not be waking up as early for school, staying up all night watching movies or playing games can have major consequences when it’s time to do homework or school assignments the next day. Daily schedules should include meals, wake up time and bedtime as well.

Lastly, help kids connect with one another and family members who they may not be able to see in person right now. Kids can feel isolated just like us, especially when they are used to being at school and extracurricular activities. Create virtual meetings among family members, share a meal together via Facetime, or involve friends or family members for “virtual” story time. Write letters or send words of encouragement to others and show your kids the importance of thinking about others during times of crisis.

So next time you find yourself ready to pull your hair out because of your child’s behavior, take a moment to think about the causes behind that behavior. And if you need some help (which we all do sometimes), reach out to your pediatrician! We are here for you, and many of us are navigating those toddler tantrums and teen angst right alongside you.

Dr. Courtney Smith practices at The Children’s Hospital of San Antonio Primary Care – Dominion Crossing. We are accepting new patients and taking extra precautions at all of our clinics to keep children and their parents safe and healthy. We carefully screen all patients by phone and during each visit, separating our days into morning well visits and afternoon sick visits, minimizing waiting room time and practicing safe social distancing and masking. We also have the ability to do video visits, allowing families to talk with a doctor without leaving home whenever possible. To learn more about our services and locations, find us at https://www.christushealth.org/childrens/services-treatments/primary-care.

We are here for your family!